Numbers of people asked me the same question, how are you doing? I didn’t get tired of hearing it because I know you were expressing your care. Thank you. Okay, seems too vague. Good, is overly optimistic, I’m trying hard is a little more revealing. The answer I finally settled on was I feel like I’m on the playground trying to jump on the Merry-Go-Round.
Have you ever tried that? We used to push the Merry-Go-Round as fast as we could and then jump on. It sounds fun and it can be provided your aim is good. If you don’t get your speed up to match the speed of the Merry-Go-Round you can either get the metal piece in your butt or another tender place I won’t write about. Timing is everything!
The problem with jumping on is that emotionally I’m not up to speed. It feels like things that happened just before my Dad went in the hospital happened months ago. It is hard to remember details. It is like my part of the world stopped, like I jumped off the Merry-Go-Round, while the rest of the world kept spinning. Now that I’m trying to jump back on it is hard to get up to speed. I’ve taken some blows to the back side this week (I have more padding there!). People have been great to us; understanding and patient. The challenges come from having a lot of work pile up when I’m emotionally worn out.
I’m sure I will get up to speed. I’m not worried about that. I’m missing my Dad appropriately but I’m also happy that he is not in pain. My Mom is doing well; she is giving herself time and grace to settle in to a “new normal.” No doubt there will be waves of emotion at different times—and probably when we least expect it.
I find the presence of God is meeting me at every turn. Thanks for your prayers and support. We feel loved and supported—that makes this bearable. Thank you.